1) On the Oscars: Fatality. Return of the King wins.
2) On Haiti: (a short expositional play will follow)
Enter THE HAITIANS.
Haitians: "We want democracy, yay! We can elect our own presid... ... On second thought, this sucks."
Enter AMERICAN, FRENCH, and CANADIAN TROOPS.
Troops: "You can rebel all you want, just play nice with the civvies, 'kay?"
Enter THE CRITICS, who STOP ARGUING about how quickly AMERICA jumped on IRAQ (fifteen years?) to JOIN US TODAY.
Critics: "Why did you wait so long, America?!? You 5uXX0r."
THE END.
2) On Haiti: (a short expositional play will follow)
Enter THE HAITIANS.
Haitians: "We want democracy, yay! We can elect our own presid... ... On second thought, this sucks."
Enter AMERICAN, FRENCH, and CANADIAN TROOPS.
Troops: "You can rebel all you want, just play nice with the civvies, 'kay?"
Enter THE CRITICS, who STOP ARGUING about how quickly AMERICA jumped on IRAQ (fifteen years?) to JOIN US TODAY.
Critics: "Why did you wait so long, America?!? You 5uXX0r."
THE END.