Mental breakdown.

It's definitely that time. With all the shit - which I won't go into, here - I'm dealing with, I have gone and lost it utterly.

I can tell.... because I attempted to bake blueberry tarts today.

From scratch.

Also, I have the ingredients for a beef stew (probably) in my fridge.

Now, as those of you who know me at all know very well, I am not a good cook. I am not even a mediocre cook. Nor do I (normally) have any inclination to be one.

Having had the Tart Experience (yeah, yeah - I know), I have this to say:

When I write MY cookbook, it will be a Cause and Effect cookbook. I am going to put warnings in it, like:

"Do not use too much glaze. Do not make the slits in the top of the pie too big. IF you use too much glaze, THEN the egg sealing the edges becomes diluted, and they un-seal, and the filling leaks out. IF you make the slits in the top of the pie too big, THEN once again the filling leaks out.

IF the filling leaks out, THEN you have:
a) a big mess, and pies that stick to the pan
b) an EMPTY TART.

I dread what will become of the stew. I really do.